really expensive hydration™
$100.00
A hydration powder for people who care more about how hydration looks than what it does. Twelve plain-but-ridiculously-expensive sticks designed to support hydration, muscle function, and the part of your personality that believes price-gouging equals superior health. Each stick delivers quiet confidence, plain flavor, and the soft prestige of spending too much on something your friends will pretend not to judge you for.
Quantity
Available for pre-order. If you’re buying hydration you don’t need, you can wait for it too.
PRODUCT INFO
A balanced blend of electrolytes formulated to support hydration, muscle function, and the part of your identity that equates wellness with status. Developed to maintain fluid balance and help you pretend you can feel the difference. Plain flavor. High cost. Mix with water and act like it changed your life.
RETURN & REFUND POLICY
You have 30 days from delivery to request a refund if you regret your purchase, which is understandable. Products must be unopened, unused, and still pretending to be premium. Opened sachets cannot be returned for hygiene and basic common-sense reasons. If your order arrives damaged, email us and we’ll replace it while pretending to be surprised. Approved refunds are issued to your original payment method within 5 to 10 business days. Contact hello@reallyexpensivehydration.com to begin the process.
SHIPPING INFO
Orders ship within 1 to 2 business days because luxury takes time. Standard delivery arrives in 3 to 6 business days. Expedited delivery arrives in 1 to 3 business days if your hydration emergency is truly that serious. International shipping takes 7 to 14 business days, or longer depending on geography and fate. Tracking will be emailed so you can follow your questionable purchase in real time. If your package is lost or damaged, contact us and we’ll fix it.